Today’s post is by Stephanie, another Australian who has started learning Russian while teaching in Russia. In this post she shares about her experience as a woman dating in Russia while learning the language. Russia is portrayed to the West as a cold, hard place with dating in russian magical architecture, myriad vodka shots, and a leader who dances with bears and who, for some unfathomable reason, never wears a shirt.
English via the Romance languages and is not at all a Russian word! Whilst it is cold, vodka certainly exists, and calendars featuring a shirtless Putin and puppies are not in short supply, there are a thousand misconceptions about Russian culture and people. What I do want to say is that, as a financially-independent Western woman, I LOVE that Russian men hold doors open for me and help me off buses. Does it enrage me when it does or doesn’t happen?
Do I feel a small flutter of butterflies in my stomach when my date does it? It’s a respectful gesture and it shows that they’re capable of thinking of others. It’s a little more complicated outside of the dating scene. I’m grateful when a man helps me down from the bus or train. I’m Australian and I am not yet comfortable jumping off something a little higher than I’d like it to be when my landing space is covered in snow and ice, so it is genuinely helpful. BUT I will admit that I’m suspicious of what my male 14-year-old students are up to when they insist on holding the classroom door open for me.
It’s also a little bewildering when an elderly woman rejects my offer to help her with her shopping, only to accept the offer of the next passing male. Melbourne workers for a train seat when I had stitches in my foot and compare it with the Russians jumping off their seats to assist anyone slightly worse off than themselves, I think the West could learn a thing or two. I haven’t exactly gamed the system and found perfection here. There are certain expectations that come along with being a female in Russia that I don’t necessarily subscribe to. A few of my male friends and dates have brought this up on a number of occasions. Have you ever thought about getting your teeth whitened?
